Fantasy Football Hooters

August 20, 2007

Why must my senses be bombarded by such things?!
Driving to my favorite coffee shop this morning, I pass by the local Hooters bar.

What do I see? No, not hooters! I see on the sign that it refers to Fantasy Football.

Now, forgive my ignorance, but I just had to ask:

What the crap IS that?
Was football not an insane-enough time-waster?
Have we already grown so numb to sweaty men throwing themselves at high velocity into other men that we have to have Fantasies of them doing so?

Being selectively pro-sport-ignorant, I draw up the courage to ask my barista, “What the heck is Fantasy Football?”

It turns out, if you don’t already know (if you do, just don’t admit it), Fantasy Football is when people make picks of players throughout the entire NFL and build their ideal Dream Team. Then, the stats are calculated at the end of the week to see whose pick is winning.

What the…?!?!
Who comes up with this crap?
Was picking the best real team not enough?
Do we have enough arm-chair quarterbacks that think they can do better?

Then, the biggest question of all: who would waste THAT MUCH TIME on an imaginary world that does NOT EXIST???

It got me to thinking though.

Where ARE the Christians out there?
Where are the Christians who would spend as much time at the mission as they would at Fantasy Football?

It was a stark contrast in my mind. The fact that so many people in America can find time to invest in making up teams, tracking stats, and winning money on teams that don’t exist blows me away. Then compare that to the number of Americans who claim to be Christian and can’t find the time for the mission.

This totally blows me away.

As a result, I mentioned to my barista: “I can FEEL a tangible fight against apathy, man.”

His response: “What are you talking about? Can you keep it down?! The game is on.”